


Ninja Wizards

by petra666



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, F/F, F/M, Healer Gaara, M/M, Magic, Multi, Reincarnation, Smart Uzumaki Naruto, Wizards, kind of character death, souls from different dimension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:47:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28008678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petra666/pseuds/petra666
Summary: Two wizards have an accident in their home and when they wake up, they are hundreds of kilometres from each other and in bodies too young to be called ancient.In other words: Magic-using husbands take ninja-world by storm.
Relationships: Gaara/Uzumaki Naruto, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	1. What is happening?

I woke up without my bones trying to tell me I am too old to get out of my bed, which was the first warning I got. The second one was the fact I wasn't under blankets with my personal heater anywhere near – I wasn't even laying, my back was supported by a cold wall.

My head hurt, which is nothing abnormal but it was centred around one long spot, not the usual pain in temples shooting in all directions imaginable. I touched it and my fingers became wet with blood – not water, my hair is dry. And short? My hair wasn't short since I turned twenty... I stretched my senses and found out I was sitting in a dead-end between piles of trash and metal bins. It smelled like trash (surprisingly), blood and alcohol. Secondary scan told me what is wrong with my body – a severe fracture of the skull when the damage was done, however now it's only a cut slowly crusting over. Hm. Another diagnose showed me that I lack the proper nutrients... and there is nothing wrong with my eyes, I have five fingers on BOTH hands and there are no scars that I wore for so many years.

Then I opened my eyes and saw for the first time after ten years of sensing my surroundings with magic and my other senses. I would tear up if I were anyone else and helped my new ability to heal deadly wounds with its job. I'm not a healer, but I can clean and magically stitch a simple cut. I looked around and a memory came up – running from angry people screaming things like a demon, demon brat, fox, demon fox.

_Naruto ran through many streets and for a few moments he thought he might outrun the adults, but then he almost ran into a wall in the dead end. He teared up and turned around, looking into angry eyes. They started to throw bottles and knives at him, but only one hit him – right into the head. Then there was only black, filled with an enraged roar._

Naruto? Did I somehow get into a child's body – no, wrong wording. I know something wrong happened with the ritual but this is too much even for Magic itself. However, there was harsh evidence that I inhabit a child's body – a child that died because of an angry mob. That's cruel even by my standards!

I dug in his memory and found where he – me – lives and started to head there. I cloaked myself in an illusion that would make anyone look away and forget they saw me, so my trip was without any hitch. The door to safety was dull brown and the walls around had words like demon spray-painted on them in weird symbols. I could read it only because of Naruto's memories of his first language. Which were horrible because the kid had no one to teach him how to read.

The apartment was in a dreadful state. I managed to repair the table and chair in the kitchen, kitchen cabinets hanging on one hinge (or on faith and duct tape), a hole in the door and finally the bed. I sat on it with my legs folded into the lotus position and started to meditate, so I could go through the boy's memories and learn a language which was so different from mine.

I almost pitied the kid – not only an orphan and hated by most of the village, but also stupid and naive. A bad mixture of tings, because he never hated his abusers in the orphanage, nor the people that killed him. I can't wait how those idiots will react to my very nice self.

When the alarm started to ring I was already done with eleven years worth of memories – the oldest were buried in the subconscious and only consisted of sounds, smells and blurry colour but I put the picture together – Naruto had a Nine-Tailed Fox sealed inside of him by his own parents. I would say they were as bad as my mother and father, however, they truly loved him judging by the hazy memory. Well, at least they are dead so I am not obliged to follow some stupid rules.

Academy was on the outskirts of the busy village, near a green meadow and dense forest used for survivor training and playing during the lunch-time. I will enjoy meditating around there – it reminds me of home (just without the annoying children, which made it even better). My home-class was on the third floor and Iruka was already sitting behind the desk even though school starts in thirty minutes.

„Hi,“ he said without thinking before raising his head with wide brown eyes and eyebrows too high to be natural. „Naruto? Why are you here so soon?“

„Couldn't sleep, villagers tried to bash my head in and I got a migraine from it.“ Partial truth, because they really did a number on this body and even now I have a migraine. Only now it's from looking through so many memories and speed-learning a new language without a dictionary. I need to find a library...

„What?“ he looked surprised. „Do you know their names?“

„I can draw their faces, but I think it's not necessary Iruka-san.“ I slouched harder, sleepy after being so productive. At least now I won't wanna die from falling asleep in a chair.

„Naruto... at least show me your head.“ After an eye-roll I did. Thanks to my horrible healing abilities there was a jagged scar giving me a nice hair-part. „Does your head still hurt? Is your vision swimming? Did you puke?“

„Yes, no, no.“ He looked at me for a long minute, searching for something he couldn't find. Maybe he wanted to see the fake smile Naruto always wore on his whiskered face? Or was he looking for the reason why the blond was wearing a simple navy shirt and his orange track-suit pants were hanging dangerously low on his small hips? I had answers for all of these things but he said nothing before he put a hand on the mop of soft blond hair. My head started to feel better so I let him keep his appendage connected. „Thanks. What will we be doing today?“

„I will teach you some chakra theory and taijutsu history, then we will have a practical lesson on these subjects. If you feel nauseous through any lesson, tell me, ok Naruto?“

„As you wish,“ I shrugged, already feeling better than in last ten years. I took a seat in the back of the class, near a window and fell asleep after a mere second. It was a decent sleep, before a sponge for cleaning the black-board hit me in the head, creating a white cloud around my newly sensitive nose so I sneezed myself into pain. „What was that for?“ I threw it back to the other teacher, Mizuki.

„What are the two parts that make chakra?“ he asked with gritted teeth.

„The mental and the physical.“ I continued to rub my nose and ignored the snickering. Next to me sat a boy with a funny looking ponytail, Shikamaru. He was part of Naruto's sorta-friend group, lazy but smart even though the stupid boy never saw it. He was sleeping as soundly as I was but Mizuki was obviously biased. The only not horrible thing about him was his hair, it reminded me of my old hair. Now I'm as blond as I was when I was young – which surprised me. The few people I saw in the streets were brown-eyed and dark-haired so I expected to look like that but my expectations were wrong because I looked like my young blue-eyed blond self, just terribly short due to malnutrition.

„And what are the five affinities one can have?“

„You mean elements, no?“ I furrowed my brows in confusion.

„Did I say elements, Naruto-kun?“ he smiled widely, trying to look kind.

„But it's like... wind, fire, water, earth.“

„And lightning.“

„That's not really an element.“

„That's why they are called affinities.“

„Affinity means a liking or sympathy for someone or something, especially because of shared characteristic. So even a dirty sponge could be an affinity for someone as disgusting as you,“ I hissed out, angry with his attitude and got detention thanks to my temperament. Great. I always hated authority figures.

Everybody looked at me after that and I could feel that Iruka was watching me through all classes until we reached training grounds where children were put into groups and forced to train their chakra. I had an understanding of how to work with it on a basic level but my training in magic made me use it instead of it. It was like a happy puppy when I simply thought about using it and rushed into my fingers, cutting off the rivers of less potent chakra so I cheated and used it to stick the leave to my forehead and then taken a cat nap on the warm sun.

„How do you do it?“ Kiba shook me out of it. I looked at him blankly.

„Just stick it to yourself with chakra, it's nothing complicated.“

„It is – it either slips off or goes flying!“ I shrugged and looked around, spotting a girl with pink hair – Sakura – who was happy and excelling in this exercise.

„Ask Sakura, she's smart.“ He frowned but turned around and asked her. Akamaru jumped out of his hoodie and started to sniff my hands before I started to rub between his ears. That made him roll on his back and I lightly scratched his belly too. Ens was scared of dogs since before I can remember so we never had one (if I ignore the one time I baby-sat a werewolf puppy in his dog form...).

Kiba turned back, looking slightly happier and fell on his ass next to me. „ You act weird man, like you turned into a partial Uchiha,“ he snickered and tried the ‚trick‘ again. It holds longer than before, but it still fell off after half a minute.

„I had a critical head injury yesterday, so that could attribute to that,“ I answered truthfully and ignored the gasps and surprised eyes in favour of dragging the puppy into my lap and dragging my nails gently through the soft white fur.

„Yeah, you turned smarter because you fell from stairs,“ he rolled his animalistic eyes and grinned widely at Akamaru. „At least we know it's you – Akamaru would bark his heart out If it was an imposter.“

„Hm,“ I nodded and spread the unusually short fingers, sadistic thoughts filling my mind with broken necks and tearful wails. Yeah, the wrong territory, go back to scratching. „I think he likes me even more now that I give better scratches,“ I tried to joke and thankfully he was a good audience. The rest looked everywhere just not myself – civilian children, whose parents always told them not to talk or play with Naruto. „Wouldn't you know where to get good ink?“

„For what?“

„I need it for making my flat more secure.“

„You know fuuinjutsu?“

„A what?“

„Sealings? Drawings that do stuff? We were trying to do it last week and you were the only one who could make a smoke bomb.“

„Oh. I... forgot the name.“ Anther snickering from the dog-boy. „But you know how to seal your home?“

„Kiba.“ I felt a need to shock him with my favourite spell but calmed myself. I really hate children - I'm glad they are ten or eleven and not FIVE or younger. A horrible age.

„Yeah, yeah, you can buy it where you buy kunai and shuriken. Hana-nee-san always buys her ink there. She makes seal collars for the puppies that need a tracking system on them!“

„Thanks.“

„Students!“ I will kill Iruka and his loud voice will be tortured first. My poor head. „Now, we will start with Taijutsu practice! Gorou! Naruto! You are the first!“ I got up with Akamaru and with my best death glare, I looked at Iruka.

„I am not feeling well.“ He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

„Naruto, you are obviously lying. Come here.“ I tried to make him submit without using force but he was smiling and happy and I almost crushed Akamaru's weak puppy bones. I put him on the ground when he started whimpering and did what my young body wanted – I stuck my tongue out (moaned in disgust because I'm over seventy) and walked into a circle of dirt.

„Can I use anything?“

„Only taijutsu.“ I groaned painfully and wanted to burn them all into charcoal. I hate physical fighting – not even the body's natural talent for it won't make me like it – there is a reason I never even thought about being a knight like my father or cousins (originally I didn't even want to fight but things change).

Gorou was bigger than me in every direction but I knew Naruto could beat him as long as Mizuki wasn't the one overlooking the fight. That boy might not be a demon fox, like villagers thought, but he for sure fought like an animal. But I don't wanna. So I cheated and after the yelled out GO! I jumped as high as I could and fell to the ground which shook and a gap opened under the boy's foot. He fell in it, probably broke his ankle and I kicked him in the nose so hard he fainted. „Can I go home, now that I'm done?“ I tried to look pretty and innocent at Iruka, who was flabbergasted.

„I said no chakra!“

„I believe you taught us today that ninja uses chakra while fighting with taijutsu only – to enhance their senses and physical capabilities.“

„But you did earth-“

„No, I only heightened my mass and made myself thousand times heavier and it just worked in my favour.“ Can I go now?“

„You have detention you little shit!“ Fuck you too, Mizuki.

***

„Hokage-sama, there is something wrong with Naruto!“ Iruka ran into the office but still managed to bow deeply and even use a formal tone.

„Is he injured?“

„No – well, he was, but – he acts like someone else. Could it be the fox? What if-“

„Iruka, calm down, tell me everything,“ the old leader said comfortingly and pulled his pipe out of a drawer. „And sit down, you look too pale.“

„Thank you, Hokage-sama.“ The man blushed and hurriedly sat down, nervously playing with his fingers – it wasn't every day that one would talk with Hokage in such an emotional state.

„So? What is wrong with Naruto-kun?“

„Well... he came to the class half an hour too early, his face cold as a stone and I could see a scar on his forehead going into his hair. So I started a conversation – he told me that villagers attacked him and that his head hurt still. Which Naruto would never do, he always hid everything wrong with him so I watched him after I healed his migraine. He slept through most of the class and woke up only when Mizuki threw a sponge at him and asked him questions. He could answer without a problem but said that lightning is not an element and that affinity could be anything. Then he fell asleep again until we were practising a chakra control with leaf. And he did it, as casually and easily as civilian children with the chakra of the size of a peanut. Naruto, who has problems with anything that needs a low amount of chakra! So I tried to see if his fighting style changed – he didn't want to fight but I made him. He just jumped and there was an earth-quake that made a rip in the ground where his opponent's foot got stuck and then Naruto kicked him in the face with such a happy look in his eyes... he knocked him out. This is nothing like him so I stalked him to his home after his detention. He disappeared for a few minutes and when I found him next time he had a sealing ink and was painting weird symbols on his apartment door and the walls after he painted them white. I tried to sneak inside but it burned me with electricity,“ Iruka showed his hands, red and blistery. „I tried to heal them but I'm not good enough to fully repair them. After that, I went to you, because he again disappeared in thin air.“

Hokage thought about it long and hard, stroking his goatee. He originally thought Naruto was just scheming, preparing a prank but not even after the first half of the story, he started to feel scared for his adopted grandson. He could just ask the boy but he felt that would not end well. „I will assign an ANBU guard to him and we shall see if he gets better. Try to act normal – I doubt that this is Kyuubi, someone would feel its chakra. Maybe he was acting the whole time?“

„Could it be caused by the head injury?“

„It might be... after all Naruto can survive things no one could thanks to his tenant. And if it was really bad, a near-death experience can change even a grown man.“

„So we wait?“

„We shall wait.“


	2. Graduation

I think I was much nicer the second day of attending Academy – after all, I slept and that makes even the grumpiest old farts into decent human beings. I wasn't happy with my clothing but I already stole the ink – I should wait before I acquire something more comfortable than a neon orange tracksuit. I already threw away the jacket, even though I am not very comfortable without a second layer.

„Hello Naruto,“ Chouji smiled at me friendly.

„Hi,“ I looked up from my dictionary. It only had definitions of words, because my mother language is nowhere in this hell-hole. I might be capable of learning troll in two weeks (not the spoken form which is a killer for human vocal cords) but without a teacher who would translate or a simple dictionary with counterparts in something I understand... I am truly screwed. „How well can you read?“

„Er... why?“ He stopped munching on his potato chips which made it possible to steal one and crunch it loudly between my surprisingly sharp teeth.

„I don't understand this symbol in the definition of this word. And also this word.“ He looked into it.

„It says BBQ and the symbol in the definition means ‚to grill‘.“

„Well, good thing I found someone as smart as you,“ I smiled fakely, dragged my chair closer to him and stole another chip. It tasted like salt and garlic which was a flavour I enjoyed. I annoyed him with my thirst for knowledge through a full lecture on the history of Hidden Villages and ate more than a few of his chips. I was trying to be as kind as I could so he would continue with helping me and those compliments turned the boy red. Next lecture was on poisons so I listened to Iruka for the first time – the next book taken out of the library (without the librarian knowing) will be one about plants. I wonder If brewing will be possible in here.

When it came to physical practice I tried to hide together with Shikamaru and Chouji, but Iruka found us and dragged me by the collar to the targets and put in my hands five kunai. With a smile, I tried to stab him but without a problem, he was able to stop me. „Stop it Naruto! Threw them on the targets!“ He smacked me across the head. So I tried – the minimum I could get out of my muscle memory gave me a decent accuracy but it was nowhere as good as, say, Sasuke's aim. „Again, and now try Naruto.“

He wanted me to take the knives myself so I waved my hand, not interested in hiding my magic, and caught the pretty bundle of sharp things. Nobody here knows that I am dangerous for not only those around but also to myself with knives... heh.

I threw them all and took hold of them with my magic that guided them with a precision that only magic can.

„What is that?!“ someone yelled.

„ **That** is called cheating,“ I turned around with a wide grin, showing my lovely canines. I know I am as subtle as a rock in someone's eye but my acting is even worse. That and I know somebody is watching me since the morning so that would mean it would be either very obvious or I would be pressured into faking everything, which sounds too troublesome. I'm too old for shit like that. „I heard being a cheater is part of being a ninja.“

„You are not ninja Naruto, you are a student – and students are not supposed to chat,“ Iruka messed up my hair but I let him. So far he's the nicest adult I met. „If you cheat on the final test you will automatically fail the exam.“ I just nodded and went back to Shikamaru and Chouji.

„When are the exams?“

„In five weeks.“

Well, I need to learn as much as I can (complicated language is part of that conundrum) and excel so I pass.

***

Shikamaru Nara was far from stupid, his IQ shockingly high even for a Nara, so he saw the change in Naruto even when he was deep asleep. The loss of his jacket was weird but the loss of his smile was insane. He started to try in the class, learning how to actually read was a big help too (why nobody knew the blond was technically illiterate?). Then the boy started to wear all black – standard black shinobi T-shirts with long sleeves, harem pants (for some reason) and a knee-length coat with ¾ sleeves. His shoes were heavy combat boots not suited for running in trees and channelling chakra like the typical sandals but he seemed much calmer in his new outfit so nobody told him the cruel truth that cold toes are part of being a functioning ninja.

Shikamaru taught him how to play shogi because he found out that people are easier to read when they are strategizing but Naruto became a challenge. When the young Nara wasn't paying attention he lost. The blond was an unpredictable and aggressive player not worried about losing his figures in order to win. Shikamaru enjoyed playing with someone so different from his father (or as long as Naruto wasn't cheating – how can anyone conjure a new piece and look so innocent while doing it?).

„How do you think you did?“ Naruto asked the dark-haired boy after a cat-like stretch.

„I will pass.“

„I think I did well.“

„Of course you did Chouji, you are decently smart.“ Naruto's ‚compliment‘ sounded like a biting remark but Chouji took it with a smile.

„Thank you. What about you? Did you understand everything?“

„Mostly – and if not I wrote what I thought was the right answer. I managed to write in the section about first aid how much different poisons hurt and how they affect the victim in the long run.“

„I'm sure Iruka-sensei will love that part. Did you find a way how to make the bushin?“

„I made it into more of an illusion and as far as they are not trying to sense chakra it should be ok.“ Another change in Naruto was the fact he stopped calling his techniques ninjutsu or genjutsu, chakra became magic or energy. He would try to use the more common words from time to time but never outside of a class. „The next is a physical fighting test, right?“

„You act like you don't know,“ Shikamaru rolled his eyes before yawning. „And I heard that anything goes in the finals so you can use ninjutsu too.“ Bright blue eyes lit up with devious spark, sending shivers down Nara's spine.

„In that case – here, put this somewhere where it touches the skin,“ the blond gave them two leather bands with wooden beads trapped between two knots. „It will give anyone who touches you without your consent a nasty shock. It should work with your energy too, translating it into magic so I don't need to charge it every ten uses.“

„How did you make it?“ Chouji said with wonder in his eyes, extended his arm to get help from his fairly new good friend.

„It's quite easy – I made a rune sequence that can feel emotions of the person that wears it and then there is a rune that makes any energy into an electric shock in tune with the electric currents in your body. It hurts only for a little while but the shock is what makes a great opening for an attack.“ Yes, easy. „I consider you two friends and I don't want you to die as easily as warriors usually do.“

„How sweet,“ Shikamaru said ironically but smiled non the less. „We should go.“

They were the last who arrived at the training grounds where a pair of students were already fighting. They were civilians so it wasn't an interesting one. The three boys fell on the ground, watched clouds and shared a bag of potato chips until one of their names was called. „Amichi Chouji! Inuzuka Kiba!“ Both boys went into the ring drawn in the soil with confidence. „You need to either last for five minutes or one of you wins the spar. Try not to maim or kill, everything is allowed. And the last thing – stay inside the circle or you loose automatically. Ready?“ Two nods followed by moderately deep bows were an answer to Iruka's question. „Ok – START!“

Kiba attacked first, not waiting for Chouji to even fall into a fighting stance. The bigger boy managed to move away and tried to push him out of the ring – if he succeeded it would be a quick match because Chouji could get him out pretty easily. However, Kiba knew that really well and tried to stay away, attacking the symbol on his friend's back. Akamaru was cheering him on from his position on Naruto's lap, happily wagging his tail because he was getting scratches from the frowning boy. „What are you thinking?“ Shikamaru asked from his side, lazily leaning on his hands and watching clouds slowly racing above their heads.

„Chouji needs to work on his speed – then he will have a way to catch people and crush them with his natural strength. Or anything that can slow down his opponents, now that I think of it. Maybe runes, traps or something similar to your shadow technique.“

„That's why the Ino-Shika-Cho team was so effective.“

„Your fathers' team, right?“

„Yes. Otou-san taught me some of their tactics and him holding someone and Chouza crushing them is one of them.“

„I would like to see that – not many people are fond of the sound of crushing bones.“

„I'm not sure if they LIKE it – most shinobi are not sadistic psychopaths like you.“ Another new thing Shikamaru learned in these few weeks – Naruto who wouldn't hurt a fly would now talk freely about choking annoying people into unconsciousness and killing Mizuki with chalk, pencils and dirty sponges (the senseis favourite weapons against the blond boy). Shika had a feeling the boy would be enamoured with Ibiki-san and T&I in general.

„I'm not a psychopath! I'm emotionally stunted sadist!“

„Similar.“

„And more importantly, not the same.“

After five minutes the fight ended in a draw – Kiba couldn't beat Chouji who was too slow to win. Even though they knew some ninjutsu none of them were useful in that particular situation. Another fight was between Sakura and Hinata – Sakura won only because the white-eyed girl couldn't bring herself to hit her. Shikamaru ‚lucked out‘ and after tripping a civilian kid with a foot, he managed to win in the first minute of his match. „Uzumaki Naruto! Uchiha Sasuke!“

„Good luck.“

„Don't die.“

Naruto rolled his eyes. „Thanks for the support, really appreciate it.“ Then he sent sparks of electricity into their shoulder he used to get up. It wasn't particularly painful but both of them yelped in shock.

„Troublesome blond.“

***

I knew fighting Uchiha would be slightly more annoying than sparing with anyone else because he's one of the good ones. I quite enjoy his snarky comments when he's in a talkative mood, even though his are not as clever as Shikamaru's. I extended an arm for a handshake – bow is so formal. I refused to lower my head in front of the elf queen, king of trolls, sovereign of humankind and many more, therefore I shall not bow to a boy I could crush without even trying. Sasuke took it in stride, which surprised me, and shook it.

„Ready? START!“ He attacked, probably because he saw how proficient I am at defeating people with a wave of my hand. I decided to humour him and only pushed him back with a strong gust of wind. He threw knives at me that I stopped and sent back, not expecting the ball of roaring fire coming back at me. Huh. Interesting. He doesn't even have energy that would lean towards the fire, so this is impressive. Still, it took me a split of a second to send it flying into the sky, where I enveloped it in a water blanket.

„Nice one, Sasuke. Next time try to make it go faster, maybe add wind energy.“ I blocked his kick with pure magical barrier and sent through him a high powered shock. His body conducts electricity better thanks to his ‚affinity‘ but this was too much for anyone with nerve endings. Black hair imitated a hedgehog instead of duck, like usual, and the last loyal Uchiha fell to the ground with a singed foot.

„Good job, Naruto,“ Iruka smiled nervously. „Is he ok?“

„Oh, sure. Just give him a minute. Or thirty. Everybody reacts differently and medicine is not my forte.“ I'm quite happy that I managed not to kill him – fight always meant life or death situation for me so I know almost only deadly fight-spells.

Somehow I managed to cheat my way through all the tests and received my prize in a shape of hitai-ate. I put it in my pocket, ready to sew it onto the sleeve of my coat. I saw some ninja that personalized their piece of metal like that – and I was never one for accessories. Or weird tan lines – not that my pale complexion ever got any tan, just red and itchy. Somehow Naruto could get darker without pain and suffering, but ever since I inhabit his body it burns like a vampire in a sun.

I wonder in which team I will end up – I know Shikamaru has his future written on a paper since he was born, so Ino, Chouji and Shika are out of the picture. I'm too good to end up in a civilian team destined to fail, so I should end up with at least one of the clan heirs. Maybe Kiba, to balance his close-combat style? Or Sasuke, the same reason. I think Hyuugas are also close-range oriented, so that's an option too. Which reminds me I should make another bracelets, surviving team-mates are half of a successful mission.

My last team I worked with was also my pack – you can't get respect from a skin-changer without becoming their family. They were close-range oriented, ripping through human throats like they were made from a spider web. I shielded them from attacks too fast to dodge or too strong to physically block and killed with the same ferocity as the half-beasts – just from a save distance. From everything I read, Konoha sees teams the same way, which suits me well.

So, I should find some durable wood – I can't kill my last chair, even though I seldom use it. I teleported to one of my runes on the outskirts of the woods above the Hokage heads, fucking with my guard like I love to do so often. The poor person tries to follow me everywhere but can't find me if I teleport far enough – though they usually catch up to me in an hour or two. I wonder if they can feel my magic or chakra my body is naturally producing.

In fifteen minutes I found a nice supple tree that conducted nature magic well enough for my tastes and started to heck off one of the branches with kunai and magical hand. I could fly up, but this is easier on my toothpick arms. It fell in front of me and I had no time to thank my luck that it hadn't fallen ON me because I was ducking an oversized shuriken. „What was that for?“ I yelled at the white-haired bastard.

„Die, demon-brat!“ He attacked me, heavy scroll on his back saving him from a knife Iruka threw at him. Mizuki turned around and managed to kick him into a tree, quicker than Iruka expected. I could hear the sharp exhale and got angry – Iruka is one of the few decent humans, managed to feed me (and Naruto before) at least once a week (and every time I managed to get over eighty percent in tests). So I did my favourite spell that chokes people in the meanest way I know. It steals all the air from their lungs and allows no oxygen to pass through the trachea. Like everyone, he started to claw his throat and attempted to breathe in, judging by his chest movement. Then he fell to his knees, looking at me through rivers of tears. I smiled at him toothily, a weird feeling in my eyes making everything sharper.

**„I wanted to make you choke on chalk, bleeding you out like a pig through holes made with pencils... however, I enjoy even the simpler things in life,“** I purred out in voice too deep to be my own. Probably chakra from the demon fox. I need to find a way how to talk to them, this might become a beneficial relationship.

„Naruto,“ Iruka wheezed, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. I scanned him – the bleeding was nothing too serious, he bit his own tongue. However, his back is bruised into the kingdom come. Ouch.

„I will take care of you soon, just let me take care of this pain in my ass.“ I shifted my attention to the dying man on the brink of unconsciousness and snapped his neck at the same time as my bodyguard put my hands behind my back. Did nobody notice I only need to use my fingers? I shocked them with a small spark and went to Iruka, lifting him into the air to help him stand on his own. I offered him my branch to help him walk but he said no, sad look in his eyes. „Don't worry Iruka, I don't mind killing traitors.“ He said nothing and walked with my shoulder painfully squeezed in his hand. „Hey, bodyguard-san, are you going to take care of the body?!“

A thumbs up surprised me into a smile, that I like to imagine they mirrored.

We ended up in the office of the village leader, a man who Naruto called Jiji. Most called him Hokage-sama, but I'm not going to call a man younger than me anything-sama. Jiji sounds weird too, but I prefer to think of it as a nickname. „Good job, Naru-chan.“

„I will show you how I did it if you call me Naru-chan again, Jiji- _chan_.“ The old man laughed out loud, wrinkly face happy and sad at the same time.

„You did a good job in defeating a thief and traitor to the village, young genin. You will get a payment for a B-rank mission in three days. Can I ask how you killed him?“

„You can.“

Silence.

„Naruto...“

„Give me the correct verb and I shall be nicer.“

„How did you do it?“ His fingers are tapping an angry staccato on the table.

„I stole oxygen from his air-bubble and finished him by simply breaking his cervical spine.“

„And how did you do it? I never heard of ninjutsu that could do that. And without hand-signs at that.“

„Magic.“ I answered with jazz hands and a wide smile that always annoyed people who tried to learn something from me.


	3. Team

I was sitting next to Shikamaru and Chouji, just like these past few weeks. Shikamaru was pretending to sleep, Chouji ate chips and I studied Japanese while stealing chips from the bigger boy. Iruka was talking about the importance of teamwork, how we should always train and never underestimate our opponent, blah, blah, blah.

He should work on his presenting skills – when I learn how to properly read I will find a book about rhetorics for him. Or write one myself – either way, I need to study more. My active vocabulary is still lacking. The first six teams consisted of the civilian children who were decent but nowhere as good as any clan member or myself.

„Team seven: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura.“ That surprisingly nice – even though Shika told me that the two best students of each gender should be paired with the class dobe – and I know I rose above that status. Sakura screeched like a banshee in excitement which made my head hurt but it also reminded me of home. I used to know a very lovely banshee named by her creative parents creatively Bany. Her hair was almost as wild as mine and her screams always carried through the battlefield like a tsunami. „Team eight: Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba.“ A tracer team? Their fighting styles might work well together – two close combatants and one long-range – but the potential tracking... Jiji did a good job on that one. I never thought of that. „Team ten: Akimichi Chouji, Naara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino.“ Ending with obvious, eh? The only thing that surprised me was the number. „Your sensei will arrive after a lunch break – use it to get to know your new teammates well! And I wish you good luck with your shinobi career!“

I knew Sasuke would never talk to me and Naruto has a weird past with Sakura – however, I asked them If they would like to go for a lunch together. I was told two strong NOs so I ended up eating in a restaurant owned by Chouji's family with the new team ten. „You're are so lucky you are in a team with Sasuke-kun,“ Ino pouted, playing with her bland rice-and-fish meal. I talked with her three times before when I started to hang out with the boys and she was quite happy with my ‚change‘.

„I would be happy to switch with you but I doubt that would be appreciated by Jiji and Iruka. I can do kind of the same thing as your mind-reading, but my skill-sett is far less fit for a stealth-based team. I think I will be trained as a long-range combatant depending on ninjutsu, you don't have energy reserves for that.“

„True, but ouch.“

„You can read minds?“ Chouji stopped eating. The end of the world is near.

„I call it mind-rape – nothing pleasant, I can't really do it gently so people usually go crazy from it.“

„You're fucked up,“ Ino grinned. „Can you teach me how you do it? It seems a lot safer than my body-transfer jutsu.“

„It's also a good offensive spell if you're really good at it. But I must warn you - I'm not the best teacher.“

„I can manage!“ She wasn't the first naive person who said that, however, knowledge is everything so I can at least try.

„Does that mean you would teach me how you manipulate elements so easily?“ Chouji jumped in. „Like the jumping that cracked the ground.“

„If I have time, I can try to teach you too – even though I think you might manage to do it with your family jutsu. So, Shikamaru, do you want to get tortured too?“

„...what?“

***1 hour later***

As a partially professional diplomat, I knew many creatures that were unpunctual – and the best way to pass time, so I was almost happy when our new teacher took his time before arriving in the classroom. Sakura screamed at him that he's late (I doubt he's unaware).

„My first impression of you is - you're boring. I will be expecting you on the roof in five minutes!“ and then he was gone in smoke. Is this form of ninja travel or was it just an illusion coupled with incredible speed? Sakura and Sasuke looked angry but they followed my quick pace up the stairs. Our teacher was lazily sitting on the edge of the roof, an orange book in front of his masked face.

He looked surprisingly similar to my adult self –head already full of grey hair, tall and lanky body but powerful energy hiding within. Navy blue masked his face but not enough for me to see he has a nice straight nose and sharp jaw (my own used to be hidden under a thick but trimmed beard). Why couldn't I inhabit _his_ body?

„Let's do self-introductions.“

„What should we say?“ Sakura asked.

„Name, what you like and dislike, hobbies and dreams.“

„Why don't you start, sensei?“ She smiled at him, acting cute.

„I'm Kakashi Hatake. Things I like and things I hate… I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future… never really thought about it. As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies.” He grinned in the end, his only visible eye making an inverted U shape. „Now you, pinky.“

Sakura blushed at the nickname, acting meek but I could see a hidden fire in her raging energy. „My name is Haruno Sakura. I like...“ she blushed while looking at our moody teammate. “I hate Ino-pig and –“ she cut herself off, looking at me before she shook her head. “My hobby is reading. And my dream is…” Again, she lost herself in girlish giggles. Such a smart girl and so many hormones in her frail body. I hope Kakashi will beat it out of her.

“Now you, duck-butt!”

Sasuke growled but he talked, silently accepting the fact that his hair really looks weird. Is it intentional? “My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan, and kill a certain someone.”

For once I thought I might be one of the saner ones in the group – which is ludicrous. I was mad longer than I was considered sane.

“Now you, blondie!”

“As you wish, old man,” I grinned with no joy. “My name is Uzumaki Naruto.”

Silence.

“And?”

“You said mostly nothing, same as Sasuke – I figured out there is no need to really introduce myself with more. Was I incorrect? You might show me how to really do it.” He stared at me with his deep black eyes, sharp like Shikamaru's. He was silent for a while before a grin stretched his masked face.

“So, your first mission will be a survival test!”

“Test?”

“Didn't you know? You are still not Genins – only thirty-three percent of graduates become genins. Tomorrow I will test you and find out if you are worthy.” Another wide grin. “Come yesterday to Training Ground 7 at six a.m., and I would suggest that you skip breakfast. Ja ne!” And then he transported again, this time in a swirl of leaves. Before they fell on the ground or flew away I caught one, examining it. They were just normal leaves – texture, smell, taste and natural energy were all in the norm.

“Naruto, stop chewing those leaves! You don't know where they were before!”

***

I came fashionably late, mostly because I guessed that Kakashi would be late like yesterday. And I was correct, even though I arrived at nine there were only two people waiting and none of them had grey hair. “You are late!” Sakura awoke with fury in her green eyes (she reminds me of Ens), trying to whack me over the head.

“Kakashi is absent, so I came soon enough,” I shrugged and started a basic stretching exercise so I won't pull a muscle if he forces me to run. I have no idea how strong he is – probably not as powerful as I but one never knows – death awaits those who underestimate their opponents. While doing that I stretched my magical senses far and wide – looking for our teacher (and naively hoping I would find familiar magic of my partner).

He was near us – not enough for me to find him with my casual small radar. However, he was close enough to be able to see and maybe even hear us. His energy is animalistic enough for his senses to be above average. When I looked in his direction, he appeared with a horrible excuse. Sakura yelled at him and did nothing to the older man.

Kakashi told us his rules and goals for today's exercise – I saw through the lies, my mind sharply dissected hidden thoughts he hid in his speech. This is a test of our team-work. However, I saw a loophole that I wanted to exploit – I itch for a good fight.

I'll give them the bells after.

“So, start now!” the older male yelled and pulled out his orange book. Is it really so good he doesn't need to use one of his senses? I guess he's expecting a bunch of genins but still. One never knows if one of your students isn't ‘the most powerful wizard in all time’ (at least in one dimension). Sasuke and Sakura disappeared into the forest but their energy was incredibly easy to detect – I need to teach them how to hide it, I read about sensors that can feel energy like myself. “Are you not hiding, Naruto?”

“No need to hide,” I shrugged and used the same spell on him as I used on Mizuki. It was a great spell for those who weren't expecting it but there were numerous ways how to counter it. The easiest is not to be alone – I can't control wind that well and the almost uncontrollable element always takes most of my attention if I need it. So it really works in a situation when there is only one attacker who is not proficient with wind-manipulation and they don't know how to get out of it.

Kakashi was neither of those exceptions (which made me sad - I need to find a better sparring partner or stop using this spell) and his book fell out of his hands. I walked over to him, took his silver balls and book. His eyes grew wide when I started reading and clawed his throat. Huh, he lasted longer than any man or woman before.

“Your taste is horrible,” I commented while going through pages, just skimming words that caught my attention. “Erotic novel, really? I haven't read many books but those that I did had a much better plot.”

His eyes started to go up into his skull so I let him go. He coughed and tried to breathe in at the same time which resulted in more coughing. “Breathe in, slowly. Then breathe out, as long as comfortable. Continue that and you will be fine in a minute or two,” I took pity on him and then called for my new teammates. “I have the bells!”

They arrived almost immediately – after all they never left their initial positions. “How did you do that?” asked Sakura with wide eyes.

“Simple wind manipulation – you don't have so called ‘affinity’ for it so it would be difficult for you to learn. But I can teach you how to drown people with just a bottle of water?”

“WHAT?!”

***

“Team four?”

“Failed.”

“Team five?”

“Failed.”

“Team six?”

“Failed, but Nanako Haru is suitable for an apprenticeship in the hospital.”

“Good. Team seven?” Everybody expected Kakashi to shrug and say that he failed another team. Again. Well, that would be a lie – Hiruzen and Iruka, who was writing down the new teams, expected Naruto to pull his team through the test without breaking a sweat.

“Pass. Naruto used the same ninjutsu on me as he used on Mizuki and stole the bells, then gave them to his teammates. I battled them again without his intervention – Sakura is willing to work together with both boys but Sasuke needs to learn how. Hard training regime should do that,” a demonic fire lit in his only visible eyes and Hiruzen felt a shiver going down his spine.

“Team eight?”

“Pass. Hinata, Shino and Kiba worked well together after some yelling and sneering. The boys found my general location and Hinata stole the flag from me. They need a lot of work individually but their teamwork should be easy to master.”

“Team ten?”

“Pass. They work very well together – as expected, if not better. But they surprised me, to be honest. Shikamaru was not acing lazy and led his teammates with steel hand – and they trusted him like he was their commander for years. Chouji was their heavy-hitter and the other two worked on slowing me down so he could get to me. He almost knocked me out with his last hit,” Asuma rubbed his bruised face and puffy eye.

“Good, it seems that we have a group of strong genins under our hands. Dismissed.” Everyone left, some chatting on the way out about those surprising news. “Did Naruto befriend the young Nara?” Hiruzen asked Iruka who grinned.

“They are both as strong and smart as they are lazy. Onece I got to know this new Naruto, it stopped to be surprising why they became such good friends.”


End file.
